We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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