I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
