I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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