My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
