I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
