no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
