ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Come share oat with me in your robe
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize