Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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