What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
