Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
