alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
