Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
