i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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