I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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