but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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