I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
