i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
