I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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