First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
