I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hippo gnu deer
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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