i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
