I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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