i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
this is an emotional support booty call
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
