Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
