As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
