I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
