she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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