I'm gonna have a badass scar
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
