Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The ass gains better be worth it
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