oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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