Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
