Buhtt sex?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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