dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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