Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
