also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sober January is a disaster.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize