It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
