dude i'm inner monologue high
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
