I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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