Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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