never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
