I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
