I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
