i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
