Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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