what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize