So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
