At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize