Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
