Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
