ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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