I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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