We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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