Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
