u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
