Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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