Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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