She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
