I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
