if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
