my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize