I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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