i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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