Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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