South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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